Most recently my mother introduced me to the phenomena of damn care. We all agree that she should have learned this 30 years ago. Damn care as self-care is neither novel, nor a new invention. But you, kind women who are raised to spend your lives in compromises, need to articulate it.
Damn care attitude quote: attributed to Talia Lavin of the New Yorker – repurposed here
I’m thrilled to announce that damn care may well become my feminism mantra. It works well in many different situations. But before I go further, here’s what it means:
Damn Care: Verb
Usage: Examples:I damn care about it. Damn care. The ability to articulate nonchalance about something that’s quite obviously sexist, parochial or harmful to you. You damn care something that should not be said or done in the first place. Like, when you feel someone’s taking advantage of your kindness or dismissing your opinion/sense of self because of your identity.
Not to be confused with: Lack of empathy, irreverence (these are often why you need to employ damn care).
Origin: Maybe loosely attributed to this.
Damn care as a self-care mechanism
In the finite amount of time we all come with, we need time to feed our souls. Whether it’s a solitary spring walk or an afternoon of looking through windows, it’s yours. I practice self-care in many ways. Here are some of my favorites:
- Saying no when I need to
- Unfollowing (in physical and online life) people who generate negative emotions in me
- Applying my hand-cream
- Reading things that make me feel nice
- Sitting in the spring sun looking at ants
- Taking my time
- Damn caring anyone who displays any sort of entitlement or a sheer need for empathy in communicating with me/the world
At 12, after observing my homework, I was lovingly told by a family member that, “you should get a desk job.” I was too young to understand the inherent slotting that I was being subjected to. But I am glad that I let my passions bubble, like quiet conversations. I have punched them with the results. Let them wonder. I damn cared.
I’m planning to do a series of sketches every now and then to share how you can damn care, when you need to. What’s more important than your own sense of self and caring about your time and experiences? Let no (mai ka laal or beti) living soul destroy your inner peace. It’s never worth it. Plus, it’s time to activate your sense of self-esteem and own the wind.
And before I go, here are some beautiful spring flowers to get you motivated. Time to turn a new leaf 🙂