Grandmother’s non-fights…

Papa was unwell (he’s doing better, thank God) and ma gets hyper excited when anyone in the house is not being superman/girl. So she was asking him the same things a million times over, Papa shouted back, and I shouted at her saying why is she making him shout and then she shouted back at me to complete the circle. We often exercise throats in the morning. Aids breathing.

Of course in fifteen minutes I went to ‘talk’ it out. So Grandmother decided to say, ‘I wish you get married soon, to see how to run a house yourself’. I’m not sure this was exactly meant in a I-bless-you way. But anyhow, she proceeded to tell her own story.

Grandfather was a man of many moods. He was gentle. But was also famously known for getting upset. He was also very conservative- but that’s a function of times. His modus operandi for getting upset was the ‘silent treatment’. Personally, I think it’s worse than a full blown fight, but Grandmother feels, I’ve not tested the  waters yet.

In the morning before leaving for work (everything in the valley started post 10, even schools) Grandfather would have batta (rice and some curry etc.) in the kitchen. Since he was racing to catch the bus, he didn’t quite care about what Grandmother had cooked, in the hurry. But in the night, at 9pm, when he was at ease to enjoy the batta, he would often get into the complaint mood. ‘What have you made’, ‘am I eating this/ that’, ‘the salt is less’. Now this behaviour Grandmother couldn’t quite endure. So for a year and a half, she didn’t serve him food herself. She would typically send someone else with his thaali.

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They also had disagreements otherwise, and post hurting her fragile ego, she handed him a month and a half of no conversation. During this period, the house would run just fine, he would continue to hand her the money either by putting it on the kitchen sill, or directly depositing it in her blouse, not telling her what the amount was, but making sure she never had a shortage. The non-fight would end by him exasperated and opening up with ‘payi che macchi’ [May you have flies attack you- I swear it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. No one else uses it. I wonder why he thought flies were so important :D]. Recounting this Grandmother immediately looked up, and said with pride, bagwaan rachin [May God save us] we never had fights. 😉

Barring flies, Grandfather also had a dramatic expression of love embedded in Hinduism and films. [We’re all filmy in the family]. He would floor her to say, ‘I’d be with you for all the seven births’. Grandmother feels he went away too soon, and that amounts to cheating in this one, but she’s quite sure of all the others.

I wish Grandfather hadn’t cheated. I also wonder how upset he would be to see me spill the beans here. 🙂