Meri Kahani Meri Zubaani: My story in my words

I wrote about FAT in an earlier post. They just released a Radio show made by the girls in their own words – on domestic violence. The show is in Hindi for about 30 minutes, but I translated a few things that spoke to me. I couldn’t stop myself from sharing it. How deep rooted is this? It’s not even male led necessarily, mothers seem to be leading this mental and physical torture- on their own kids.

Story 1: The violence with us has increased so much, that we can’t even see it, or feel it. My story is still ongoing. As I grew older my relationships with my mother became weird. I used to get beaten up for every small thing. Recently, I had to stay back in office for a day and my brother threatened that if I didn’t come back, I should never come back home. I thought to myself that I would say something when I reach home. But even before I could say anything, I was beaten up so bad that I was unconscious for about two/ two and a half hours. When I gained consciousness, my little sister was not allowed to give me water even. We could never think, how we could scare these people off, tell them not to hit us. I‘d cry alone-in the bathroom, under the bed- this was a usual part of my life. At some level, when I spoke to my mother and asked her why does she hit me so much, why does she have so much anger in her, her answer was, she’s also sustained a lot. She’s also been beaten up a lot- in her in-laws place. All after I was born. I’ve gone to the hospital 3 or 4 times. No one came to the hospital with me. I went alone. Now I live away from home. I don’t even get a phone call from home.

Story 2: This is from a long time ago. Papa was angry, he just kept hitting me. I do not know what happened. He stopped momentarily and I ran away. I came back at 12 in the night. My mother asked me why I was back. She kept me out for one and an half hours. The next day she didn’t allow me to go to school. She said work at home now. A few days later Papa was upset perhaps with some work or something in the village and he picked up a stick and started hitting me. I was hit so bad that I couldn’t walk. They would wake me up in the night, even if I was unwell, to do some left over house work. He (Papa) never told me why he hit me. He just told me, it was my fault. All he wants is that the anger from outside needs to be relieved by hitting someone at home. I have never complained to police, I don’t think we will.

Story 3: I have joined an NGO and at 5 pm I go home. Once my mother was told by someone that I was with a boy or that I speak with boys and hang out with them. When I reached home, my mother’s reaction was, that she tore off my clothes and hit me. My mother hit me and I sustained it. Later I realised how much it was hurting me. I kept moving around in the dark and at 10pm I reached home when my parents were out looking for me. I went up and sat on the roof when my uncle saw me and informed my parents that I was home. They asked me where I was. I told papa I was in the Park, sitting. Papa just asked me to eat food and go to sleep quietly. I did just that, but in the morning again my mother started. She started saying weird things to me, like who had I spent the night with, and all. I didn’t say anything, just wore my school uniform and went to school. I felt so bad that night. My mother doesn’t like a few of my friends and asks me to not spend time with them. But does anything happen by spending time? At least I don’t think so! My mother doesn’t allow me to talk with any boys. Even if I am talking with a complete stranger, she thinks that I have a relationship with him, or he is my boyfriend. She is highly suspicious of me. If I have a phone in my hand, she thinks I am talking with someone. My brother is also like my mother. If he sees me talking to a boy, he tortures me by saying he will tell my mother. In return he makes me wash clothes, sometimes even takes money from me.

Increasingly as we discuss ‘if girls can code’, ‘if we need pink toys’, what do we need to do to change this?

PS: The translations are in pieces and definitely lose impact but I wanted it to be more shareable so decided to do it anyway.

One comment
  1. नए साल SMS

    S.no Show Questions Below
    I कबीर जी कह गये:
    कल करे सों आज कर, आज करे सों अब;
    नेटवर्क फेल हो गया विश करेगा कब।
    नव वर्ष की शुभकामनाएं।

    II आपकी आँखों में सजे हैं जो भी सपने,
    और दिल में छुपी हैं जो भी अभिलाषाएं,
    यह नया वर्ष उन्हें सच कर जाए,
    आपके लिए यही हैं हमारी शुभकामनाएं।

    III इससे पहले की इस साल का अस्त हो, और कैलेंडर नष्ट हो,
    आप ख़ुशी में मस्त हो, मोबाईल का नेटवर्क व्यस्त हो,
    दुआ है कि नया साल आपके लिये जबरदस्त हो,
    नव वर्ष की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं।

    IV आप जहाँ जाये वहां से करे फ्लाई ऑल टियर,
    सब लोग आप को ही मानें अपना डियर,
    आप की हर राह हो आलवेज क्लियर…और,
    खुदा दे आप को एक झक्कास न्यू इयर!

    V हर साल आता है, हर साल जाता है,
    इस नये साल में आपको वो सब मिले,
    जो आपका दिल चाहता है,
    नया साल मुबारक।

    VI इस रिश्ते को यूँ ही बनाये रखना,
    दिल में यादों के चिराग जलाये रखना,
    बहुत प्यारा सफ़र रहा 2014 का,
    अपना साथ 2015 में भी बनाये रखना!
    नव वर्ष की शुभकामनाएं!

    VII डे बाई डे तेरी खुशियां हो जायें डबल,
    तेरी जिंदगी से डिलीट हो जायें सारे ट्रबल,
    खुदा रखे हमेशा तुझे स्मार्ट एंड फिट,
    तेरे लिये न्यू इयर हो सुपर डुपर हिट!

    VIII हद ही हो गई साला;
    जिसको देखो 2 दिन पहले, 4 दिन पहले;
    1 हफ्ते पहले बाज़ी मारने पे तुला है;
    यह लो;

    “नव वर्ष 2015 मुबारक ”
    1 साल पहले।

    IX दुआओं की सौगात लिए;
    दिल की गहराइयों से;
    चाँद की रौशनी से;
    फूलों के काग़ज़ पर;
    आपके लिए सिर्फ तीन लफ्ज़;
    नया साल मुबारक!

    X सदा दूर रहो ग़म की परछाइयों से;
    सामना ना हो कभी तन्हाइयों से;
    हर अरमान हर ख़्वाब पूरा हो आपका;
    यही दुआ है दिल की गहराइयों से।
    नव वर्ष की शुभकामनाएं!

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