Day 27: My parents are usually kind. And by that I mean, they fight with softness and sometimes that world around them needs more than just that. The biggest influence in my life that’s allowed me to fight my battles and get my way around people who’re just a pain in the backside has been my grandmother. She’s always been a tough cookie and has mastered the art of winning wars. And to that end, I believe my mother actually suffered, as a young bride. I can’t take that back and make corrections. But, I do know that the world needs toughness and self-assuredness in many ways.
All of mine comes from grandmother. Over a period of time, a few people have called me ‘bossy’, ‘tough’ and used other such sexist adjectives, just because they’re not willing to confront or accept their own realities. I mean at work, naturally.
The sad state of affairs in the valley of Kashmir meant that a lot of my grandmother’s leadership potential remained hidden, because she never worked. This probably pushed her to the extreme end to a controlling matriarch at home. I’ve always imagined her as this rebellious princess who could rule far better than all the other men in the land, but never got an opportunity to do so. Sadly, not giving type A personalities a platform to be themselves does backfire. But the good news is that she has an astute understanding of warcraft and has never put herself out there in a battle. That’s too obscene. Her entire leadership strategy has rested on timing, words or the lack of them.
My emotionally volatile younger self has often failed at being so strong and effective like her. But the rate at which my usage of vaseline and Keo Karpin seems to be going, I do feel I am getting there. Strength takes experience and finesse. There are many ways to tell the world you’re strong. I do like the idea of leaning in like grandmother, instead of the passive aggressive nonsense dished out by many.