And while a strange sort of peace and a strong emotion fills me when I see this picture. I do also remember that at the time when it was clicked, it was a half hour before I had cried telling my father that I was stressed with so many people. I had also lost my temper a multi-million times in stress. I had said strange emotionally charged things to people. My sister’s make-up ladies couldn’t understand why I was so angry that she weren’t ready. I didn’t want anyone to enter her room or see her. Mainly because, I wanted to protect her from outside comments.
And after the rain had drenched the Jaimaala and the ceremony area, and before the mango wood was lost and found, and just after our caterer had replaced everything, I was thinking, let’s just get it done now, since the rain has stopped. I couldn’t understand why everyone was slow. I felt the weight on my head. At some point while running, my fancy high heeled shoes broke. My sister of course noticed at 6 am when she was leaving that I was wearing some weird shoes with my fancy saree that I had got no time to change out of.
In the picture now, and there as she was walking the aisle, we played the Shiva chants from Uma Mohan that Ash had shared with us. We’re both not necessarily too religious, and yet we ended up selecting this, after going through all the romantic songs from the 90s and 2000s we loved as kids. It felt like the external stimulus to feel less ruffled. As I play the Shiva Panchakshara Strotam again while writing this, my heart beats at the pace of that day again, I can’t believe it’s been a year, since I saw her walk so.