In the first six months, I don’t really think time flew. I like that it didn’t. I wanted it to be paced evenly, savour it and not let it rush me by. I have had to struggle through Deutsch, several attempts at getting the kitchen right (the pictures on the blog are obviously better attempts), lot of cross-cultural learning – away from the familiar. In the process I allowed myself to go through re-feeling perspectives and love.
I feel a lot more challenged. I increasingly meet people with vastly different outlooks that make me question mine. Not because I weren’t sure of me, but in a more expansive, how well do I know myself manner. At times it does feel like crap. Living with family has an auto benefit (problem) that you don’t need to be interesting or push yourself anymore. Also, Indian families never really allow for alone-ness. Far away from everyone, I feel starkly lonely at times. At times I feel guilty for not being near my parents and being able to help/ entertain. Then I talk to a friend, or go through my reasons of wanting a shift and feel lighter.
There’s a lot of freedom. I choose to have the whole responsibility. All the freedom is also making me understand my boundaries. Sometimes I cross a few, and at other times, I refrain because I just like how it is.
Making cross-country-changes like these as a grown-up are far tougher but also more rewarding. The ability to appreciate things and people is far greater. And I have to admit overall, I like it. I sleep better. I wanted to save the magic, and replay, the first six months. Before, I start again.