Wishes on the evening star and other things…

I got an email this week. It took me back to scooty rides with a burst tire in the middle of a busy road, my first birthday card on a birthday outside of home and many many fresh memories. A classroom of ‘I believe in’ lists- which was the sole reason for my choice of  about me on this blog .

We grow into different people as we grow up, and like an isolated page on my memory book from a stressful June of 2004, we leave some people believing that they made us an iota better than we were.

 I looked through the ‘I believe in’ list today, it still reminded me of ‘me’ coming in late (and never actually on the written list).

When I’m not pretending I’m all grown up, I still yearn to believe in angles (in radians and degrees). Okay, maybe unicorns is a stretch now :-). Aber, mit people who I find peace with I still look at the menu and order warm milk.  I do not know if it’s random or deterministic.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why we ate Chinese food together in Nasik (I can’t stand Chinese food). I don’t know if I disliked difficult conversations more than the ones we never had ( I hated waiting for all the unanswered emails till I got used to them).

Und noch, when I have a rough day, I walk alone and take a moment to look up the sky and find my star, and I wonder if I’d find you, doing that too.

For the girl whose sole wish was to one day have space to read ‘these things’ together again. From the person who went through concrete emailed emotions from a discrete time.

13 comments
  1. Y- 🙂 we wrote it in a ground floor lecture hall in the entc building in times where i could still write

    A- it really is wonderful. And thanks for the tag! Will get to it, soonly

  2. I lurrve your handwriting! 🙂
    And some of those things take me back to such lists making years, which I am sure I would love to look at now and smile 🙂
    thank you for making my day!

  3. S- I feel the same way! Aber, as long as one is comfortable I guess naive or not, doesn’t really matter…

    Blogtrotter- thank you! I was assuming that December is so much more gorgeous than the end of March, ne?

  4. Hi Upasana, I have been trotting on your blog for a while but commenting today for the first time. love this post and your blog; not only the travel writing but also (or especially)your pondering.

    p.s this comment is coming from Nashik. this December, it was AWESOME. ( if you were talking of weather, that is!)

  5. Ru- Let’s hope for both 🙂

    Jack Uncle- hehe I love milk!

    Neeti- I let go. Many times, but this stayed put. 🙂

    Tanvi- Like I was told one day ‘it’s no longer sufficient to want to go back to time, you need to specify exactly where’. And then, the fup happens when I often (still) mix think and feel

    Aditi- Don’t you love the list, I am so glad I had it! I like the fact that changes have occurred in the handwriting, and the writer, evolution is generally not so bad as an idea. I know Nasik is gorgeous in December, so I do hope!

  6. The list actually made me cry…a lot..I don’t know if its the handwriting I don’t recognise or the writer? But now I’m smiling through it again…Both – as long as you definitely do Dec in Nasik! 😀

  7. Upasna,

    Memories have a knack of making one wish to go back to those times, isn’t it? Had a laugh at — Looking at menu and ordering warm milk.

    Take care

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